Climbing Into Bed
by imjustwriting
Summary: "Be here when I wake up," he said. "I'll be here," she promised.


I know you're all waiting for the epilogue to LLO and an update for Sober. They're coming. Slowly, but surely. I couldn't stop thinking of the impending season three premiere of CPD though. This one-shot is the brain child of myself, with the extremely helpful input of my pal, Carley. You know her as Carleystan on here and if you don't, you should. Go check her stuff out. I kinda feel like this is what we're all hoping for when it comes to this season three situation of CPD and Linstead. This might seem a bit AU, but whatever. I still hope you like it. My apologies for any mistakes. Drop a review and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own or have any affiliation with Chicago PD, its character, writers, cast or crew.

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It was late beyond the hour of just swinging by to check in and yet she didn't seem to care. Care how it looked or how pathetic she might come across. He was hurting and so was she and she just wanted to make sure he was okay.

Taking in a deep breath Erin brought a closed fist to his door, but before she could knock it swung open and there he stood. Her partner. Ex-partner, current again partner. The details were still unclear. But there he was in a pair of sweatpants, a loose-fitting white tee and bare feet. Face still marred and his left eye still swollen even several days after the torment he endured. The laceration across his forehead held a dark purple tint to the surrounding skin, telling Erin it would be weeks before it was completely healed. There would be a scar no doubt. So many scars.

Erin attempted to smile, but as she looked at the man in front of her all she could do was cringe. It was her fault he was like this. She should have been there from the beginning. If she hadn't been so selfish then maybe he wouldn't be so hurt. He wouldn't have almost been killed.

"I could practically hear you pacing out here. I was beginning to think you'd never knock," Jay said, cutting into her thoughts.

"It's late. I thought you might be sleeping so I almost wasn't going to knock at all," Erin admitted.

"You wanna come in?" Jay asked. He took a half step to the side, pulling the door open just a tad bit wider.

Erin nodded slowly, accepting his invitation and stepped over the threshold of his apartment. She saw the television was on, but it was barely audible. There was an open bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table, half empty from what she could see. A small prescription bottle stood beside it. Pain killers she assumed. She turned to look at Jay who had just closed the door behind her. She raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the table.

"You shouldn't be mixing those, ya know?"

His good eye told her he had attempted an eye roll, but failed miserably and winced before he stepped away from her. He moved around the back of his couch and sat down slowly with a low growl of discomfort slipping from his lips. Erin followed from the other side and sat down beside him on the sofa.

"I'm not mixing anything. I haven't taken any of the pills yet. Not that you're one to be offering advice on the subject right now though," he told her as he leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. She could sense his annoyance, but his words weren't spewed with venom. They were tired more than anything.

"You're not wrong about that," Erin muttered leaning into the cushions herself.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with a deep sigh of regret.

Erin shook her head. "Don't be."

Jay sighed once more, turning his head to look at her with open eyes now.

"Have you slept?" Jay asked her.

Erin shook her head again. "Not really."

"Yeah, me neither," he said.

"I know I shouldn't have come here. I know it's late, but I – I don't know. I just – "

Jay reached out and grabbed one of her hands. "You know you can always come here. Doesn't matter what time it is."

Erin flinched at the contact of his skin on hers, but in an instant relaxed and rested her other hand over top of his. His skin was warm, giving her the necessary reminder that he was there with her. He was still alive. He was still there. They both were.

Erin took a deep breath, not able to hold it in any longer. "I was really scared, Jay."

Erin could feel hot tears stinging her eyes as she sniffled a few times to keep them from falling. She felt Jay's hand squeeze between both of hers and when she looked up at him she broke. She couldn't hold it back. The all-too-real realization hit her that three days ago could have ended in a completely different way. That right now she could be mourning his death instead of his wounds and the feeling it invoked inside of her wasn't one she was unfamiliar with; it was one she knew all too well.

"I can't lose you, too," she whispered, glancing down at their still clutched together hands.

Erin sniffled again as more tears formed and fell. When she looked up at Jay's face she tried to force another smile, but it wouldn't come. Only more tears came. Erin shook her head slowly, the pain still present from being thrown around that room herself. The throbbing at the back of her neck and in her shoulders still ached profusely. She could still feel the sting of broken glass as it sliced through her skin from being slammed into that damn table.

"I can't lose you like I lost Nadia, Jay. I can't. I wouldn't survive that," she told him.

"You won't ever lose me," he assured her with a soft voice.

"But I almost did the other day. It was close. Too close, Jay. If I hadn't been such a coward, if I had been there from the beginning maybe this wouldn't have happened."

Jay squeezed her hand once more and shook his head. "A lot worse would have happened if you had been. I would have most definitely taken a bullet. Done anything and everything to keep you safe. When you showed up I was sure I was hallucinating. I was sure I was slipping away. Then I heard your voice and felt your hands on me and I knew it was real. You came for me. You showed up for me even though you told me you were done."

"We said we'd always have each other's backs, right?"

A ghost of a smile came over Jay's lips and it made Erin return the small gesture.

"I'll always be grateful for that. You saved me, Erin."

"You saved me, too," she whispered so low, but she knew he heard every syllable because he squeezed her hand again.

Erin leaned back into the cushions. The exhaustion was catching up to her and so was the withdrawal she was feeling after a week of being pill and booze free. Voight had made it clear that she'd be taking random drug tests. Whenever he said. Whenever he saw fit. She couldn't screw up again. She wouldn't.

"You're more than welcome to stay. You should get some sleep," Jay suggested.

"And you should shower. You kinda stink," Erin rebuked with a teasing tone. It amazed her how easy it was to slip back into old habits with him. Their level of comfort with one another and their banter, even given the situation surrounding them.

"I will eventually. Still hurts to do too much. I've barely left this couch except to use the toilet," he told her.

"I can help you," she offered.

"I'll be fine," Jay said.

"I'll help you," Erin told him once more. She pulled her hand from his and pulled herself from the couch. She stood in front of him and stretched her arm out towards him.

"Come on. You seriously smell," Erin coaxed him, opening her hand out to the man in front of her.

Jay sighed, but nodded and leaned forward on the couch. He stood on his feet and took a deep breath as a surge of pain coursed through his entire body. Erin dropped his hand and wrapped an arm around his waist. Together, they took small steps towards the bathroom and when they finally reached the small room a few minutes later a sigh of relief fell from Jay's lips. Erin nodded to the toilet and she flipped the cover down for him to sit. He did so, and she moved towards the walk-in shower stall. She turned the handle and water rained down. She waited a moment before testing its temperature and when it was warm enough, but not scalding Erin turned back to face Jay.

"Alright," she said to him.

Jay nodded and stood on his feet again with a slight wince. He reached for the waistband of his sweats and Erin watched him for a few seconds as he struggled. She stepped towards him and set her hands on top of his.

"I got it," she told him.

He sighed, moving his hands out of her way and let Erin pull the garment down over his hips. The pants pooled at his feet for a moment before he stepped out of them and he took a deep breath; just the mere act of removing the sweats seeming like an exhausting task. Erin reached for the waistband of his boxers then, and Jay's hands halted her movements for all, but a second before Erin shook him off.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before. Let me help you," she said quietly.

Another sigh and a short nod later, and Jay's boxers met the floor. Erin slipped a glance at his naked waist before her eyes returned to his and she reached for the hem of his t-shirt. She hesitated when she saw him wince again at the pain that he was bound to feel.

"How much do you love this t-shirt?" She asked him.

"I can live without it," he muttered.

Erin nodded and disappeared from the bathroom only to return a moment later with a pair of scissors in hand. She snipped from the bottom hem straight up the middle and then set the scissors down on the side of the sink. She gripped both sides of the now open shirt and pushed it back, over Jay's shoulders, down his large biceps and pulled it the rest of the way from his body. She dropped it to the floor as her eyes took him in. The bruises on his chest, his abdomen, his shoulders. The ugliest shades of blues and purples and greens, and Erin found herself tearing up again. She reached a hand towards the bruise in the center of his chest, between his pectoral muscles. She grazed a finger over the discolored flesh and Jay flinched, causing her to retract her hand.

"I'm sorry," she quickly said as she dropped her hands to her sides.

"It's okay," Jay breathed out.

Erin nodded to the shower stall and Jay took slow steps towards it. She moved behind him, gasping in a breath as she took in the bruises that blotched his skin there as well, and kept her hands on his waist as he entered the shower and stood beneath the stream of water.

"Is it too hot?" Erin asked him.

Jay shook his head slowly and she watched on as he took several deep breaths as the water rained over his beaten body. She turned away, ready to close the shower door, but his hand reached for hers halting her steps. Their eyes locked and Jay squeezed her fingers, pulling her towards him. His hand released hers and he tugged at the hem of her sweatshirt.

"Your turn," he muttered.

"I – "

"Don't overthink it, just come in with me. It's nothing I haven't seen before," he said, throwing her previously spoken words at her.

A nervous smile appeared on her face and Erin pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. She sighed a moment later before nodding her head slowly. She unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans with shaking hands, sliding them down her legs along with her panties, and kicked them both to the side. She offed her sweatshirt then, dropping it to the floor. The t-shirt she wore beneath it was discarded next, and then she unclasped and removed the white lace brassiere from her upper body.

Jay had said it; it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, but yet her hands were still trembling. Erin took one more deep breath before she took the few steps forward and entered the shower stall, closing the glass door behind her. She faced Jay as they stood in front of one another, warm water streaming over and between them. Her eyes raised to meet his as he stood a good head taller than her. Erin reached her hands towards him, her fingers grazing his skin slowly with careful ease and she stood perfect level to his chest. She couldn't help herself as she leaned forward and placed the softest of one simple kiss over the bruise in the middle of his chest.

Erin heard and saw the intake of breath Jay took, and she shuddered as she noticed some of the dried blood on his skin be rinsed away from the raining water over them. She reached to the shower wall for his bottle of shampoo that stood in the corner shelf and squeezed a small dollop into the palm of her hand. She reached up to his hair and massaged his scalp with both her hands. His eyes closed as she washed his hair quickly and when she turned behind her to reach for his body wash she felt his hands on her waist. She tried to turn to face him, but his grip on her waist was firm. When she lifted her eyes to try and meet his, Erin could see that his gaze was trained on her back. As she minded his bruised skin she seemed to have forgotten about her own.

Jay kept his hands on her sides, fingers gripping her skin with a gentleness that only he could ever give her. He held her in front of him with her back to his chest, and then her eyes closed as she felt his lips on her dark tinted left shoulder. One hand still held her left side while Jay raised his right to graze the skin of her back. Erin shuddered an involuntary shiver and she felt his lips on her skin again before Jay's forehead fell to rest on top of her shoulder.

"I'm okay," she told him quietly, leaning her head gently against his.

Her left hand found the top of his as he still gripped her hip, and then she raised her head and turned in his embrace. The need to acquiesce the guilt she knew he was feeling came over Erin; she knew because she felt the same pang of remorse for him.

Jay looked down at her, she up at him, and even with the shower raining over them she saw the tears he shed because of her and it broke her all over again. Erin snaked her arms beneath his, hands moving to rest beneath the muscles of his shoulders, and she held him to her, chest to chest. His right arm stayed around her side, hand at her lower back, fingers moving in sloppy, untraceable patterns on her skin. His left hand came up to the side of her head. His fingers sank into her wet hair, holding her head in the crook of his neck. Her nose grazed his collarbone and she placed another quick kiss to a small bruise she found there.

Jay's hand sunk further into her hair, gripping the back of Erin's head with such tenderness and she pulled back to look at him. Her eyes met the saddest hue of blue and before she could talk herself out of it Erin leaned up and pushed her lips against his mouth. Jay returned the action, kissing her back and feeling the same longing, the same need in her kiss as he felt in his bones. A simple compilation of softness and lips and love even though neither would dare utter the taboo word of their relationship – partnership – friendship, whatever the hell it was or would be or could be. That single moment seemed to be more than enough.

It was over in a moment. Erin pulled away first with one last chaste graze to his lips and dropped her forehead to his shoulder again. Jay's hand stayed at the back of her head, his hand on her waist now, both of hers still gripping his back. Their grips still kind, but tighter holding one another close. Holding on for dear life.

They stood in their embrace for so long until Erin's body shivered against Jay's, the once warm water now chilling. Jay moved his hand from her back to the handle of the shower and shut the water off. He stepped towards the door and pushed it open, feeling Erin shiver behind him once more as a gust of air sheathed them both. Jay grabbed one of the towels hanging off the hook on the wall and slowly turned back around to Erin. He draped it around her body, under her arms, and tucked it in place before he reached for another towel and wrapped it around his waist.

Jay stepped out of the stall first, taking slow steps as pain still radiated through him, and Erin followed behind. Jay took a seat on the covered toilet seat once again with a locked jaw and another wince on his face.

"I'll get you some fresh clothes," Erin told him. She kissed the top of Jay's head as if he was her child and he nodded once before Erin slipped out of the bathroom.

Erin returned a few minutes later with her damp towel hanging over one arm and she was dressed in Jay's clothes; a pair of his boxers and a wife beater that drowned her small frame. In one hand she held a pair of sweatpants for Jay.

"I figured you'd wanna forego the t-shirt," Erin told him.

Jay sighed gratefully. "Yes."

Erin kneeled down in front of him, slipping each of his feet into the pant leg holes and pulled them up to his knees.

"Come on," Erin instructed. She grabbed one of Jay's hands and he took a deep breath as he stood. He pulled the towel from his waist and Erin pulled the sweatpants up his legs with her free hand, securing them around his waist.

"You okay?" She asked him looking back up at him.

Jay swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, and then he sighed deeply. He nodded once. Erin dropped tossed his towel onto the counter on top of hers and nodded towards the door. She held one of his hands in hers, leading him from the bathroom. Once they were out in the open Erin wrapped an arm around his waist and Jay immediately fell into her support.

"Sorry," he whispered as they stopped in the middle of the living room. He took a deep breath, wincing again, and swallowing hard once more.

"You need to rest. Come on," Erin told him. She led him to the room on the other side of his apartment. It took a few minutes, but they finally made it and Erin sat Jay down on the side of his bed. She eased him down onto his back and pulled his blankets up over him.

"Will you stay?" Jay asked her as she switched off the light on his nightstand.

Erin looked down at him and nodded.

"Just hang on," she told him.

Erin made her way through the apartment turning off any extra lights save for one in the kitchen. She made her way back to Jay's bed, climbing in under the covers beside him. She turned to face him, ignoring the ache in her shoulders and reached a hand out towards him. As Erin's fingers grazed the skin surrounding his bruised chest Jay flinched. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at the woman beside him.

"Wake me if you need anything," Erin told him.

"Ya know, I kind of like this whole you taking care of me thing," he teased her despite the pain he still felt all over.

"I kind of like this whole climbing into bed with you thing," Erin said, moving her hand to the side of his face and running a finger over his scruffy jawline.

"Will you do something for me?" Jay asked her beginning to feel the sleep set in.

Erin nodded.

"Be here when I wake up," Jay said.

Erin smiled a small, warm grin, nodded once more, and leaned over to softly kiss his cheek.

"I'll be here," she promised him.


End file.
